Domestic Violence and The Patriarchy

This article hasa been written by PVN Nilohitha, a law student from Symbiosis Law School, Hyderabad.

***This paper has been selected for LegalOnus Law Journal.

Introduction

Domestic Violence has been prevalent in India since the very early ages and is still been practiced in many parts of India. Although women hit their husbands, there were many cases about men hitting the women. In fact, the NCRB (National Crime Records Bureau) has recorded that in India, for every 33 minutes one women gets abused by her husband.[1] This is the consequence of gender-inequality which is imposed because of culture, norms, values and ethics which promote exploitation of women. This is due to the patriarchy which is instilled in the minds of the people and women suppress this emotion and keep it hidden until it extends to the matter where they commit suicide. The patriarchal society has always been in the society and it silenced the women, making them believe that bearing the abuse from their husbands would actually make them “good wives”. In India, there are majority of incidents where women are subjected to domestic violence, dowry-related deaths, sexual abuse, honour killing, feminine infanticide, women trafficking etc., and each of these offences against women violates women’s right to dignity, and to live without discrimination.

Women in villages have been suppressing this for a very long time for the sake of their kids and their parents. Does marrying off really means that the strings with the woman’s life and her parents are really cut off? There is a case in India whereby a woman had consumed acid because she was unable to bear the abuse from her husband and her in-laws and over dowry and also the parents of the woman hadn’t complained as they were afraid to lodge a complaint and were too scared to carry the burden of the kids.[2] Does taking care of kids really counts as burden rather than the guilt of not doing anything to bring justice to their child.

A daughter is still seen as a burden of their family and the need to pay dowry during the marriage and marrying off would free them from the burden. Whereby sex determination is still banned in India it is still practiced in many parts of India. Why is a women considered as burden when people actually worship Goddesses? The average 32% of women are subjected to spousal violence and 31,516 cases of rape were recorded in 2022 and out of which 96.6% were by their family relatives and known family members.[3] Statistics reveal that 45% of Indian women are slapped, kicked or beaten by their husbands. 32% had committed acts of violence against their pregnant wives. Every 60 minutes a woman dies in India due to domestic violence.[4] There is a bizarre case where a 39 year old man had beat and raped his 65 year old mother twice as ‘punishment’ claiming that his mother had an alleged relationship in the past.[5] Does domestic violence really comes from the husband or from the male family members as well? Around 86 cases of marital rape get lodged every day in India and yet marital rape is still not criminalized.

Women have been constantly urged to sacrifice, be it occupation, or missing out on social activities or staying back at home so she can look after the kids. The patriarchy has it that women were supposed to stay in the kitchen and nurture kids and shouldn’t disobey their husbands or shouldn’t talk back or she will be labelled as the “Bad Wife.” This type of mindset was instilled in the minds of women and it is deep rooted. Apart from physical abuse, women face emotional abuse too and since they are no visible scars they generally don’t report this. The women in India are subjected to emotional criticism which has long term effects. This kind of abuse creates emotional trauma, PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder), depression, anxiety and also develops inferiority complex. Also many women don’t realise they are exposed to abuse thinking that it is the societal norms and the so called values and unknowingly give in to the male dominance and control in the family. Emotional Abuse and Physical abuse go hand in hand and emotional abuse generally brings low self-esteem and increases insecurities which in turn makes them depend on the abuser.

A wife refusing to have intercourse with her husband was one of the main reasons given by their husbands for justifying domestic violence. Another legitimate explanation for domestic violence was disrespect for the in-laws. According to the reports, states such as Andhra Pradesh and Karnataka ruled that refusing to have intercourse was a legitimate excuse for domestic abuse.[6] Domestic abuse was considered acceptable in states such as Telangana, Tamil Nadu, and Andhra Pradesh if the wives neglected the home and children.[7]

Though there are many feminists bringing awareness about the patriarchy or the domestic violence, or about the women empowerment and about the sex determination, there are many women still subjected to these evils. As a part of domestic violence, the children are very much effected because of this. The children either develop trauma or tend to become like their parents in the future. This psychologically effects the children and how it changes the perspective of people around them. Where children witness domestic violence, they can be expected to have emotional effects and are at higher risk for violence themselves. [8]

A collective shift in mindset is the possible way to solve this chronic issue, beginning in education where fairness, compassion, and honouring one another needs to be front and centre. Improving and accessible, anonymous support services must also be emphasized, to assure victims are protected without stigma or fear of retaliation, and communities should be active in positively identifying and supporting people who are at risk. Enforced rules must be in place and new law developments need to demonstrate inclusion. At home, at schools and in public places, if we can engage in frank conversation about the issue, every gender may feel empowered to speak out against toxic behaviour. Once we inspire people to act with compassion and justice is seen as a right, not an entitlement or privilege, only then, will we achieve sustainable change.

[1] Lippincott, https://journals.lww.com/indianjpsychiatry/fulltext/2022/03001/domestic_violence_current_legal_status_.17.aspx (last visited on Sept 27, 2025).

[2] NDTV, https://www.ndtv.com/india-news/in-another-up-horror-woman-dies-after-being-forced-to-drink-acid-over-dowry-9178407 (last visited on Sept 27, 2025).

[3] Swayam, https://swayam.info/resources/violence-facts-figures/ (last visited on Sept 20, 2025).

[4] Nuh Police, https://mewat.haryanapolice.gov.in/Crime_DomesticVialence#:~:text=Statistics%20reveal%20that%2045%25%20of,India%20due%20to%20domestic%20violence. (last visited on Sept 27, 2025).

[5] NDTV, https://www.ndtv.com/india-news/delhi-man-rapes-65-year-old-mother-twice-as-punishment-arrested-police-9100465 (last visited on Sept 27, 2025).

[6] Engage, https://www.epw.in/engage/article/gender-norms-domestic-violence-and-southern-indian (last visited on Sept 27, 2025).

[7] The Week, https://www.theweek.in/news/india/2021/11/28/75-pc-women-in-Telangana-Andhra-Pradesh-Karnataka-justified-men-beating-their-wives-Survey.html (last visited on Sept 27, 2025).

[8] Office On Women’s Health, https://womenshealth.gov/relationships-and-safety/domestic-violence/effects-domestic-violence-children (last visited on Sept 27, 2025).